Moving Out

Sitting on the edge, i glance around , confused about everything. I have to get my life in place, or atleast some of it as I move out to a new city, a new job and probably a new life.
I have no clue from where to start, and as I fiddle around to find a direction I find myself more lost than ever. Have I been steering in the right direction, taking control of all the right things or is it just illusion whats keeping me on the tracks.
Recurring thoughts, apprehensive state of mind and all I need to do is probably just push right ahead and make a new start. And thats the irony in life, a start always is new, would the double positive make it any better. Its all in the heart and not in the mind, mind knows not when the heart will overpower it, but as I begin to gather pieces and stack them together, an unsettling feeling rushes through, a place which I had begun to be at home with is no more going to be my home. I have to move on, create another home. Mind says its the best to happen, moving to a better life, a comfortable life, but does comfort really lies in the materialistic gains of a better house and lifestyle.
As I sort out and close into boxes things which once made my home, throwing away bits of it, I feel a discomfort, a resentment of undoing my own home. I had been dying to run away to a happening life, to a glamourous world and now I want to run away from it. I hate bringing down posters which so proudly hung on wall, and robbing the walls of their sole property, and I hate to move out.
But its just me having doubts on my own decision.

THE GAME

Feeble fingers, clumsy hand,
holding on tight, aiming to hit it right there,
tough shot, a stark resemblance to the 'game'
Its all about wining the loss.

Distractions filter through,
fighting to keep them out, they are now an integral part,
an array of thoughts, wisdom gone weary
and its all about wining the loss.

I count not the wins,
but why I failed to perform,
tremendous pressure would be an excuse
but yes desire to be free and still have it all.

p.s. :I wish to write more and more shall be there, its just a little hard to put in pen when confusion dominates and intermingles the thought process.